The Night Before….
March 6, 2016
The big day is tomorrow, my first Doctor’s appointment! I haven’t been able to keep much food down. It’s hard to deal with when you’re absolutely craving something and as soon as you start making it/ see it in front of you, you get instantly repulsed by the thought of actually eating it. For example, Pasta, my favorite meal of all time was finally a dish I thought I could handle. I began to make it yesterday and simply boiling the water and seeing the pasta in it, made me absolutely sick to my stomach. I had to stop making it so I didn’t faint from the nausea I had. It was so annoying.
Today was a better day- a sandwich from Tim Horton’s was GLORIOUS. I had half for lunch and half for dinner- I still can’t eat big meals. My amazing SO also picked up ginger ale for me and that has been helping my nausea an insane amount. I had been drinking a lot of ginger ale at the beginning of the first trimester but then replaced it with juice and lemon water. I am super thankful that it is helping ease my nausea today. My stomach looks smaller (less bloating lately due to the lack of food staying down) but it seems to be more firm. I know I’m not going to have a real bump until later on since this is my first pregnancy but it’s hard to not analyze your changing body at least once a day.
I am worried and very excited about tomorrow. I am just hoping everything is alright. I have no idea how I will fall asleep tonight or ease my nerves enough to get out of bed tomorrow but I will document the whole experience once I get home. Fingers crossed for me please!
March 7, 2016- My First Appointment and The Most Beautiful Heartbeat
We woke up this morning to weather that made you feel like you were in a huge snow globe. It consisted of the type of snow I love (big and fluffy) and warm air. Now when I say “woke up”, I mean I started getting ready to go. I did not get a wink of sleep the night before. I stayed up and watched 9 Months starring Hugh Grant, Julianne Moore & Robin Williams (what a riot). Needless to say, I was tired and the nerves of what the day would bring made my nausea worse.
Did I want to have to worry about a bunch of snow and people driving carelessly while making our way to our first prenatal appointment? No. Thankfully, it went without a hitch, Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty was playing on the radio (which I took as a great sign) and we were in the waiting room before I knew it.
We waited for about 15 minutes, and were called in by my Doctor. She congratulated us and I was such a bag full of nerves, she must have thought I was a bit out of it. I honestly couldn’t believe I was actually having an appointment concerning my baby. My doctor who is affiliated with St Mary’s in Montreal, is amazing. I had such a pleasant experience with her during the entire appointment and I am relieved I am lucky enough to have the perfect doctor on the first try. ( I don’t feel comfortable releasing her name for privacy reasons and she also has a full schedule due to taking on her fellow doctor’s caseload because of Mat leave. She said she would only be open for new clients in one year- I am so lucky.) I was given papers to sign which included becoming a patient of the hospital under her care, which gives me access to the walk-in clinic at any time. Since the hospital works with residents, I had to give my consent that I knew there would be a possibility of students/residents observing my appointments, labour etc. for learning purposes and a chance that some things may be filmed to track a resident’s progress. If any of these circumstances were to occur, I would be given notice. Helping residents learn if they need it? Fine by me! That is not a problem at all.
We proceeded to go over the usual questions- medical history of myself and my family, medical history of my SO’s family, our backgrounds and attempted to figure out how far along I was. Since my cycles had been irregular and my last period was different and shorter than what I was used to, she marked it down in her notes. However, if my dates were correct, then I was 10 weeks and 3 days along, and my expected due date is October 3, 2016. We then discussed my symptoms and any fears I had.
I mentioned how the spotting I had was my #1 fear and I was worried about a missed miscarriage. It wasn’t possible to do an ultrasound today, but she said she would try with the Doppler to hear the baby’s heartbeat. She made it clear that it was still early if I was at 10 weeks to be using a Doppler, and to not freak out if I didn’t hear anything; it is completely normal not to hear it until even after 12 weeks because your uterus is still hiding behind your pelvic bone.
I got on the examination table, she put the gel on me and I almost stopped breathing. She searched around for a little while and my heart started to sink when all I heard was my own heartbeat. She moved to the left of my tummy and there it was. A quick and strong heartbeat. Until you experience what it is like to hear that heartbeat, there are no words good enough to explain the emotions you feel. The amount of relief that washed over me was highly welcomed and while I wanted to cry, I think I was too happy to let the tears come out. She said that since she barely had to search for it, didn’t have to push downward too much or at too much of an angle, that I am probably further along than the 10 weeks we originally thought. Since I am at least 10 weeks and we can hear the heartbeat, the chance of a miscarriage occurring drops and I now have an 85% chance that everything will continue to go smoothly. She also said that the fact that I am still this nauseous is an amazing sign.
She also took my blood pressure, which was a perfect 120 over 80 and weighed me. I knew I had lost weight and my estimates were right, I was 108 pounds today and since my usual weight is between 115-120, she said that is the most amount of weight deemed safe to lose. When it came to my nausea, she wanted me to know that while Diclectin is not a miracle worker, it is available if I feel like I need it, but I think I am so close to the end of this trimester- I can just push through it. As for migraines, Tylenol is safe but if the migraines are ever debilitating, to let her know right away and we would figure out a plan of action.
She made sure to answer any questions we had and she also made sure to remind me to ENJOY the pregnancy. She understands the nausea, insomnia and other symptoms can really affect a person during the first trimester but that once the second trimester comes, it will be like night and day. Also, once people see or find out that I am pregnant- everyone will suddenly become an expert at parenting and everyone will have their own opinions. Do NOT let that get to you. My doctor told me to just become a duck, and let their opinions become the water that flow under me. I will remember this piece of advice always.
We then had to set up dates for our first Ultrasound, first bunch of blood tests, glucose test (joy) and finish registering for everything. A folder full of papers and a huge book of parenting advice later, we were ready to go.
My first Ultrasound will be on March 18th, next prenatal appointment on April 5th and the oh so dreaded glucose test will be done on June 20th. While I’m ecstatic and feel blessed to be going through all of this, June 20th can continue being far away- I am not going to have a countdown for THAT appointment.
I came home, talked to my mom and then proceeded to have the deepest sleep I have had in a LONG time. My SO had to shake me just to wake me up to make sure I ate something- it was a great feeling to know I was in such a deep sleep. I ate and was able to fall back asleep right away.
As I sit here writing all of this down so I will never forget it, I can’t help but think of all the women who go through this and don’t hear a heartbeat. I have been reading and participating in numerous message boards full of women who had miscarriages and I almost feel guilty for writing about how lucky I feel. I never want it to come across as though I am rubbing the good outcome of this pregnancy in anyone’s faces. I want to make it clear that I feel completely blessed and lucky to have this going the way it is and I am not going to take that for granted.
I am completely overwhelmed in the most amazing and happy way. My Mom worded it perfectly- I am in a complete “Happy Daze”. Thanks for reading, from this happy Mother-to-be “Duck”. Baby- keep on kicking, growing and beating that heart for me. You’re making me the happiest person on the planet and so many people love you already.
- That night, I proceeded to have the weirdest dream so far. I’ve had several odd dreams but they haven’t been worth mentioning. It might be because I fell asleep reading the Tiny Tot book they gave me, but I had a dream that I was trying to feel where my uterus was and felt a huge large marble in my tummy. I was able to lift it out of my stomach, and it was a magical blue/purple colour. It had a cord that was the same colour attached to it. I was also able to put light behind it to showcase what was inside and I was able to see the fetus. It sounds really gross but that’s not how it was interpreted- it was more of a magical feeling and it was REALLY neat. I think it’s my body telling me to realize that there really is something inside me. This is really happening. It is still so unreal to me.
More soon! What was your first appointment like? When did you get to hear the heartbeat for the first time? Has anyone else been WAY off their estimated dates? Please let me know all about your experiences by commenting below or finding me on Facebook!
Thanks for reading, as always,