Feb 18, 2016
I am presently 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant (I think). St Mary’s called me back a day after I had left them a message and my first appointment is on March 7th- just over two weeks away. The wait has been KILLING me. I still don’t know if the baby is okay and I am terrified that we will get to the appointment and they won’t find a heartbeat. I have been spotting off and on, and it makes me feel the need to check every time I use the washroom. It’s extremely nerve wracking and it is constantly on my mind. I have been reading more forums and blogs about other Mommies and their experiences, and it is true when people say that every pregnancy is different. I have to keep that in mind and try to stay as positive as I can. That being said, put the computer down and walk away from Google. Yes, it can help if you read a little bit to get some information but oh my gosh, it’s like going on WebMD when you’re feeling sick and having them say it sounds like you’ll be on your deathbed before you know it. Every pregnancy is different and not every piece of information you read will be appropriate for your situation. If anything, reading more may just make you feel more worried and stressed out, and I can now say from experience, that it does not help. Yes, it is good to be prepared but the nausea you’re currently feeling is enough; don’t add to it with being sick from stress.
When it comes to symptoms, the one I’ve noticed the most is bloating. While I have lost a pound, my belly looks like I’m eating a bunch of junk food- which I’m not. I have been trying to eat as best as I can and I have been drinking chocolate milk in order to get enough calcium. I don’t want to have too much sugar of course, but as someone who is slightly lactose intolerant and who is tired of soy/almond milk, adding a bit of Nesquick to the milk enables me to drink it and while my stomach does get a bit upset, it is not as terrible as it usually is. I am still tired but I seem to just push through it a bit more rather than instantly fall asleep, although that is not always the case. My chest is not as sore and I don’t feel quite so nauseous. It’s really hard to explain but I’m always starving but I never feel like EATING anything. I get full in a matter of a few bites but I know I have to keep eating. I also find it a bit hard to stay as hydrated as I should. Even the thought of plain water turns my stomach upside down so lemon water has become my best friend. I am constantly touching my stomach. Pushing down a little bit to see if I feel a difference or not, trying to suck in my stomach to see if I can make it flat again like I could before… let’s just say that is getting harder to do. I know it’s not the baby starting to show but bloating is a part of all of this and I am loving having a belly…. there is nothing I am ashamed about. Although, it is already really uncomfortable for me to sleep on my stomach. It just feels like my stomach is attempting to push itself through my back. I am therefore sleeping on my left side most of the time, since it is the best position for blood circulation.
I have always been an emotional person, (seriously- Canadian Tire commercials during the holidays can make me cry, it’s THAT bad) but now it’s even worse. I don’t know if you’ve been to the movie theatre lately, but there’s a preview coming out for a movie about a snowman and every single time I see it, I cry my eyes out. My SO makes fun of me every time. At least someone is getting a laugh out of it!
While I mentioned to not make yourself stressed out more than you need to, knowing you are responsible for the health of a little one, even though they’re not born yet, is stressful. I’m not even in my second trimester yet and I am worried sick about this little one. Is my resting heart rate too slow? It’s suppose to be faster if I’m pregnant. Why have some of my symptoms lessened? I know a lot of these things are supposed to be “normal” but there are also several stories that revolve around similarities to my story so far and theirs don’t have happy endings. Every single thing makes me worry that I have already lost this joy and I just don’t know it yet…. can these two weeks go faster please? I’d really like some reassurance.
How are you handling the first trimester?